A coworker’s friend recorded this random street singer yesterday.

You are not teh streetview.

The famous Simon-Pizza image meets the famous Crasher Squirrel

And a bonus Simon-Squirrel mashup:

Simon tasted Little Italy, now he wants to taste some squirrel!

Golden shower = 10 points

From Shipment of Fail.

Allison Hanes of the National Post brings the above-linked article about how the City of Toronto took a stock image of a latino family for use as the cover of their Summer Family Fun Guide for 2009, then decided to to a piss-poor job of photoshopping a black dude into the image so as to make the cover-family more inclusive, more colourful, more multicultural, more . . . Toronto. Nice job, guys!

The interweb community, not being one to allow something like this to go unmocked, took the above image and ran with it, starting a thread over on stillepost.ca full of snide remarks and further photoshopping of the already mangled image, and the thread was picked up by the same National Post blog:

shirtsonpantson.com contributor DiggityDawg Forsythe added his own contribution to the thread:

This makes me proud to be a Torontonian, and being such and as multicultural as that implies, I’m sure to have a good roffle at this later on with my black friend and his latino family.

I like my flirting the way I like my humour: obvious.

I been sleepin’ with my sister in law

Never let it be said that DiggityDawg misses the point, like when LA Angels wrote in with his “problem”:

Congratulations

Sure, it would be easy to get bogged down in the sister-fucking and infidelity, but mightn’t the problem be just as simple as LA Angels being nervous about fatherhood?

Skimming it

The Eccentric Essence just couldn’t stop worrying, so teh Diggity had a suggestion on how he might relax:

I'm pulling it right now!

Meanwhile Brane was wondering how to break the ice with a girl that he liked, and DiggityDawg knew just the trick:

The hostess with the mostest

Sam wanted to know what the duties of a strip club hostess were:

What doesn't she do?

. . . and now she knows.

Like a rock . . . or two

DiggityDawg is always there to help you loosen up or soften up, and he loves the laydeez:

A rub and a squeeze

As if that wasn’t enough proof that teh diggity has the greatest respect for the fairer sex, further evidence can be seen in the Yahoo! Answer below:

Celtic misogyny

As you can see, DiggityDawg knows his mythology.

I am teh poetry

Teh diggity knows a thing or two about busting rhymes, so when Rina asked DiggityDawg to write her a poem, he was happy to oblige:

You are not teh poetry

Meanwhile, Francisco wanted an honest evaluation of his own skills:

The ripple manifested stream

Wait . . . people still use clip-art?

Sketchydevil is apparently a novice computer user who received via email a document containing a piece of clip-art. Apparently the clip-art that Sketchydevil saw upon opening the document was not the clip art described by the document’s author. DiggityDawg is a technology expert and was happy to explain what had happened:

SECA

DiggityDawg was also there for Maroun, who had a different sort of computer question:

Your SSD is fucked, you retard.

You’re the poop!

dumdum wanted people to offer up some clever waterslide names, and DiggityDawg was there to help:

Creative waterslide names

Relationship status

Audrey wants the world – or at least her friends list – to know that she’s married to some asshole, but she can’t figure out how to make it appear on her Facebook profile. Apparently she didn’t read the terms of service; had she done so, she’d know that the paperwork is already being processed:

Allow 6-8 weeks for processing

Best Answers!

DiggityDawg is pleased to announce that two of his answers from last Friday’s edition of DiggityDawg Helps were selected as the best answer by one voter in each case, winning by default against other answers that received no votes! Yay Diggity!

SOHCAHTOA!

Zing!

That’s it for this week’s edition of DiggityDawg helps. Have a good long weekend, everybody!

Yep, that's pretty awkward.

Click the image to go to the blog.

Click through for the other two!